Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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