My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
