we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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