so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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