Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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