you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she told me i tasted like america
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
