I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
