Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
