I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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