break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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