she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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