I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
my sisters under your porch take her home
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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