It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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