I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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