Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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