Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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