i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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