Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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