I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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