Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
