My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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