So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
send nudes
from the living room?
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