I just cut my nipple shaving
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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