don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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