dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
