Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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