Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000