just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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