Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?