I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize