carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Someone signed my nipple.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
