i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
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