they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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