I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
