Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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