Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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