I look better un-naked...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
