so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
