Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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