brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
