This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
