You can't motorboat a personality
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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