you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
