are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
