it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
