hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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