this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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