cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Quick, to the slutcave!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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