Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
