I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
