oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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