do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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