well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
