you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
