So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
