so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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