He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize