Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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