I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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