you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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