Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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