I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize