I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
