I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
